Exhaustion Hits

Original Post from 2014

Last week I worked during the day while Koral was sleeping.  It worked for a week.  She was sleeping a lot.  I think over the week, I got less and less sleep since I was up half the night with her, too.  My sister came to visit on Friday night through Tuesday morning and I am so glad!  The only thing is I would have been able to do so much more with her if I had gotten rest during that week.  Well, by Tuesday I was pretty tired and kept pushing back work projects all week until I felt better, but guess what?  Koral has decided not to sleep anymore.  She wakes up every twenty minutes and makes hungry expressions, moving her mouth in little "o" shapes and sticking her tongue out in hope.  Then she'll cry.  When I feed her, she falls asleep on me.  She's also become somewhat rebellious against bottles.  Every once in a while she'll just drink a whole bottle and look all satisfied, but a lot of the time she just hates it and cries until I feed her.  We've thrown away so much milk this week.  She loves getting new diapers, baths, being held, and eating.  She hates being alone.  Senthil and I realize she is training us, also, and have begun to resist her cry when she has had all her needs met, but when her cry hits a certain pitch and sounds pitiful, I cave every time.

So, with this new sleep pattern, I have not gotten any work projects done and will have to talk to my employer tomorrow.  This week of sleep recovery and Koral has flown by and tomorrow is already Friday!  I was exhausted until today.  Today I'm tired but was able to feel normal again for the first time in about a week.  Since we now have decided not to enroll Koral in daycare until November, and since Senthil's start-up is needing more and more of my help, I think I'm going to be a temporary stay-at-home parent and work part-time helping Senthil.  I was already working part time for this business, but now it will have room to grow into more responsibility in the future.  The fact is, I can't be happy without sleep and I can't sleep enough in the night, so I need to sleep in the day.  In addition, I would like to have enough sleep to be able to exercise after the doctor clears me next week!  I'm hoping for the energy for morning walks with or without Koral depending on Senthil's schedule and ramp up to other workouts.  Well, that's pretty much it for now, but yes, I think my current position is sadly coming to a close.  I have really enjoyed this job, but since moving from Indianapolis and working remotely, I sort of knew it wouldn't last forever and was a temporary solution.  I guess it's time to start that process to be fair to myself and to Koral and Senthil.