Well, Koral is flourishing and gaining weight, so mainly, things are going great. However, for me as the mom, there have been a few challenges.
First, a week and a half ago on Wednesday, Koral had just turned 2 weeks old and I needed to go run some errands. After changing and feeding her, I put her in the carseat carrier and off we went. I got so much done, and she just slept through everything! I felt great - so empowered that I could, in fact, leave the house with her if I needed to or wanted to.
However, even though I felt strong and happy, my body started bleeding again - a sign of a new tear in the uterus, probably from carrying her around in that carseat which is a little heavy. What's worse, up until this point I had no real pain, but that night I developed a terrible little hemorrhoid that hurt horribly, sitting or walking. Very bad news! So, that took out my stroller walks on the trail and my good mood. I was pretty bitter about this. I am a big baby about pain. Then I was feeding Koral one night and she kept getting her hands in front of her mouth and not opening her mouth wide enough. She got a bad latch and hurt my nipple - felt like it was sprained for several days and I had to pump on that side! So, there were a few complications. I'm happy to say I'm back to normal now, but still being careful with things. I have taken Koral out and about again on trips to FedEX, the post office, and Kohl's to shop. We got her birth certificate and also got her photo taken for her passport, and I took her to the DMV while I changed my license over to South Carolina from Indiana. She's been pretty good and crying minimally. I did have to change her in the car once and fed her in the car and at Kohls in the dressing room - she had woken up while I was trying on pants.
Wardrobe - For now, I got leggings and yoga pants. I will continue to shrink and no sense buying fitted pants. We moved three times during pregnancy and most of my pants were really old, so I got rid of most of my "before" pants. However, my three nursing tank tops from Target (previously mentioned) have been good, but not good enough for everyday wear, dinners, office, etc. There just isn't a lot out there, but I did find a few on Etsy and 3 shirts have been ordered that look presentable. Remember, nursing goes on for a year... And I got two dresses that I thought looked pretty awesome (considering I've spent three weeks in spaghetti-strap tanks and yoga pants) but Senthil wrinkled his nose and said it looked "college-girl" style, meaning young and not professional. Hey, there is a limited supply out there. Just doing my best. It is worth a lot to be able to nurse/pump without disrobing, though, and I am happy about my new clothes. I will continue to add as I get back down to size/find more options.
So far, since coming home, I've lost 4 pounds. This is without doing anything, so my hope is the rest will just happily slip off when I get the All-Clear from the doc at the 6 week appointment and can exercise again! Either way, so long as I don't get hemorrhoids again, I'm happy!
Feeding - Breast-feeding has gotten easier and easier for the most part. I now have a supply starting up in the freezer and today set up the warmer. The only real issue we ran into was the bottles I got with the Medela starter kit - they are the wrong shape for Koral paired with breast feeding, and apparently the hole in the nipple is too large, as it came with size Mediums instead of Newborn 1-3 months size. This led to too much milk when she did get a latch on it and it would spill out of her mouth every few seconds. Today I got "Tommee Tippee" bottles that are made for breastfeeding milk and made sure to get size Newborn, and Senthil had a successful feed with her.
Finally - work. I decided on Wednesday, one of the good days, that I was ready to start back at work again, and emailed my boss. Now I'm a little apprehensive, because while I can work from home, meetings are a big part of my job and what happens if she's crying or needs attention? So...I have some thinking to do. Either way, if I do leave the company I have been working with (first in Indianapolis for six months, then remotely after the move for five months) I need to put in 4 weeks notice and will have to figure out something with Koral for at least 4 weeks. Hmmm, it's getting trickier on the days that she is awake for longer periods of time. Some days she largely sleeps through quite a lot, feeding every 3 hours. Then, there are the bad days where I'm up half the night and tired and cranky. And if I spend the good days making up for the bad ones at work, when do I run errands? I had not planned to be a stay-at-home mom, but my options do seem to be decreasing as reality sets in. Either way, I will continue to help Senthil with his business. It just is really hard for me to let go of working from an office away from home. I love going in. Senthil hasn't had to change much since Koral came along, and I had truly planned to enroll her in daycare at 6 weeks old. Now, Senthil and many others have voiced concerns about her getting sick from the spread of germs in daycare at such a young age. I do feel torn about this. Lots of guilt. She is soooo tiny, only 7 lbs. Maybe I could wait a few months. I love my little Koral and want to give her the best possible start.
And with that, here's the link to a video I sent my parents this morning, saying good morning:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnqZTD4KKeY&list=UULBMpH2-Q6NTORCA9NmvVXw
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