(Originally Published July 2014)
This post is about random products that I had not prepared for in advance. For example, night lights. Suddenly it's not a great idea to turn on overhead lighting and shock my infant into waking up. Huge lights suddenly blinding her make her flinch and then cry. Also, I can't be left fully in the dark for when she wakes and I need to find her in her cuddle cove attached to the pack 'n play at the foot of my bed. So after a week of leaving the closet light on with the door cracked open a few inches, I finally got smart and ordered night lights. These are great because they rotate to point in any direction you want, turn off in the light, turn on automatically in the dark, and are LED.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002SVANCY/ref=pe_385040_121528360_TE_dp_1
Other things that might not seem obvious were manicure scissors for her nails... She came out intent on clawing her own face with tiny but sharp little nails. The weird thing is that the nails could not be clipped as they are flexible but sharp. You can try with a clipper, but nothing happens. The best bet is to be really careful with tiny scissors when she is sleeping and trim them a little. (The hospital did not have any nail clippers or scissors, btw.)
Have you heard of the Boppy pillow? It's okay, but I was still having a really hard time with my back and the pillows slipping. While I think the name is pretty terrible, I now have a "My Brest Friend" pillow after trying one at the pediatrician's office. Yes, they are awesome. Less like a pillow and more like a padded shelf that buckles around you, it saves your back from stooping forward and all kinds of other craziness. Now I buckle that on, stick one pillow on my lap underneath it because she's so small, and am set to feed her fairly comfortably.
Get some pads before the hospital. It's been over nine months since my last period, and I moved a few times. I had no idea where my pads were. Since you will be bleeding similar to a period for six weeks, stock up. (This also might seem obvious, but tampons are not an option and you will not want to go there. I'm saying this because those tiny panty liners won't be enough and most of us probably don't use those jumbo pads anymore these days and have switched to tampons or luna cups, but for this, you need the big absorbent pads.) The hospital also gave me a jar of witch-hazel soaked swabs for the stitches area, and that was nice to have also.
Stool softeners - they are over-the-counter, so you might as well pick them up. Just ask the pharmacy which one for postpartum moms and then you won't have to make that stop on the way home. I've been taking one a day with my prenatal vitamin, and it has helped.
Personally, I decided to go all reusable with diapers. However, I did not anticipate Koral being so tiny! It will take several months before she fits into to the regular size of adjustable BumGenius diapers I had ready, so I went ahead and ordered the infant sized ones this week. They arrived today! I washed them and they are on the drying rack. Thank goodness. In 7 days of being home, we have gone through almost 4 packs of diapers with about 36 in each! Why so many? Sometimes I'm changing her and she pees on the next diaper. And the next. I'm getting better at it, like opening the soiled diaper and then waiting a little while for her to decide to pee before moving on, but then it's so sad to throw away a diaper that was only used for a whole two seconds, let alone four tossed out at once. It's such a huge waste. It will be handy to not have to worry about a depleted supply.
Oh - the hospital did not have a MIRROR. Like a make-up mirror or hand held mirror. I asked to see my stitches, and that was the reason I couldn't. I just wanted to know what was going on down there. Turns out it's not a very visible thing anyway, and since it never really hurt that much, especially since coming home, it's not a huge deal, but wow - how can a hospital not have nail clippers or a mirror??
Alright, that's the end of my thoughts for now.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Day 10 - up till now
It's been a whole week since my last entry, so this will be a couple topics and report up until Koral's 10th day. It's been a great week!
First, as promised, I'm going to discuss feeding her. In the hospital, as soon as Koral was born, she was able to suckle as I mentioned before. What I didn't mention is that I had not started to produce any milk yet, and actually the nurses assured me this is perfectly normal. It can take 3 days for milk to start coming in, and during this time, babies are fine living on the fluids in them from birth, so really her nursing was simply there to stimulate milk production and tell my body that it was time.
The second or third day I did notice some liquid, which was colostrum. There is really not a lot of this - like not even enough to fill a shot glass each time she feeds. It's a super strong vitamin milk that only lasts a couple of days and is perfect for newborns. Well, her latch was really good so I just let her drink, and the hospital was unable to get me a lactation consultant until our final morning there, Friday - day 3. Meanwhile, her strong latch was actually doing some damage to my tissue because I didn't know how to adjust her (wait for a wide mouth, hold her head firmly on, use a finger to break the latch when it was painful, etc.). So, by Thursday night, I was ready to cry it hurt so much and it is a terrible feeling to not be able to feed your little infant! I called a nurse, who suggested we try the hospital pump and get a little milk that way. It still hurt, but not nearly as much, so we did that and fed her with a little syringe. The next couple of feedings were the same until I could try her latch again with the help of the consultant. We were sent home Friday in the early afternoon, and I continued to pump about every other feeding to give myself a break from the cluster feeding and latch issues to heal. It was a difficult time, though. By Sunday, I was okay to feed her again exclusively. My advice is to double check with a lactation consultant early, even if it doesn't hurt, and then know that it gets better after about five days. Also, thank goodness I had this nipple balm in my bag because the hospital gives you nothing! I used this after each feeding the first week and now I don't seem to have issues, but this got me through. I used half of it in the first five days. There are a ton of kinds out there, but I got Boob-ease Balm from "Bamboobies" brand because that's where I ordered my washable milk pads. Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Boob-ease-Natural-Nipple-Balm-Organic/dp/B007TIM8A6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1406371548&sr=8-2&keywords=nipple+balm
However, I have heard that plain coconut oil works amazing, too, so when I run out, I'll probably just refill my little container with that since I have it in the kitchen.
She now eats really well, and it has been a great convenience to have the milk ready to go at the first little cry. Poor Senthil is helpless and can only offer her a finger to suck on.
The other issue with feeding that is just huge is the clothing. It's a huge pain to take off your whole shirt every one to three hours to feed your baby, which is what I did for the first week pretty much. I have since ventured to Target and now have exactly three nursing tank tops that I love (gray, black, and purple) that have a built-in nursing bra and the sides just unsnap to allow feeding. I am comfortable in public in this top, but it's mainly great for at home. I need to find more shirts since this will go on for 6 months to a year, and these are sort of workout-casual.
Also due to feeding, my trip to Target and just about everything else revolves around a two-hour window from one feed to the next. Senthil is starting to remember to account for this as well. He was home, I fed her, and I was out the door - and back with groceries and clothes in an hour and a half - really good considering the drive out there is 15 minutes. So my time since having her goes a bit like that.
Don't plan on working the first week after giving birth. This might sound obvious, but I had a few last items to get completed (legal forms, appointments to schedule, etc.) and it was really hard. Harder than usual. Something that would have taken me a few hours was this burden in my foggy, sleep-deprived mind for four days while I struggled with the fact that I would have to wait to deal with it. However, I finally got caught up on sleep - I sleep when she sleeps as much as I need to - and got it done on day 9. That felt really good, to be rested, back to normal, feeling like my old self even pre-pregnancy only with this perfect little bonus daughter that I love! Also on day 9, we took our first walk in the stroller and she slept peacefully the entire time.
That's the short version of what's been going on!
First, as promised, I'm going to discuss feeding her. In the hospital, as soon as Koral was born, she was able to suckle as I mentioned before. What I didn't mention is that I had not started to produce any milk yet, and actually the nurses assured me this is perfectly normal. It can take 3 days for milk to start coming in, and during this time, babies are fine living on the fluids in them from birth, so really her nursing was simply there to stimulate milk production and tell my body that it was time.
The second or third day I did notice some liquid, which was colostrum. There is really not a lot of this - like not even enough to fill a shot glass each time she feeds. It's a super strong vitamin milk that only lasts a couple of days and is perfect for newborns. Well, her latch was really good so I just let her drink, and the hospital was unable to get me a lactation consultant until our final morning there, Friday - day 3. Meanwhile, her strong latch was actually doing some damage to my tissue because I didn't know how to adjust her (wait for a wide mouth, hold her head firmly on, use a finger to break the latch when it was painful, etc.). So, by Thursday night, I was ready to cry it hurt so much and it is a terrible feeling to not be able to feed your little infant! I called a nurse, who suggested we try the hospital pump and get a little milk that way. It still hurt, but not nearly as much, so we did that and fed her with a little syringe. The next couple of feedings were the same until I could try her latch again with the help of the consultant. We were sent home Friday in the early afternoon, and I continued to pump about every other feeding to give myself a break from the cluster feeding and latch issues to heal. It was a difficult time, though. By Sunday, I was okay to feed her again exclusively. My advice is to double check with a lactation consultant early, even if it doesn't hurt, and then know that it gets better after about five days. Also, thank goodness I had this nipple balm in my bag because the hospital gives you nothing! I used this after each feeding the first week and now I don't seem to have issues, but this got me through. I used half of it in the first five days. There are a ton of kinds out there, but I got Boob-ease Balm from "Bamboobies" brand because that's where I ordered my washable milk pads. Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Boob-ease-Natural-Nipple-Balm-Organic/dp/B007TIM8A6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1406371548&sr=8-2&keywords=nipple+balm
However, I have heard that plain coconut oil works amazing, too, so when I run out, I'll probably just refill my little container with that since I have it in the kitchen.
She now eats really well, and it has been a great convenience to have the milk ready to go at the first little cry. Poor Senthil is helpless and can only offer her a finger to suck on.
The other issue with feeding that is just huge is the clothing. It's a huge pain to take off your whole shirt every one to three hours to feed your baby, which is what I did for the first week pretty much. I have since ventured to Target and now have exactly three nursing tank tops that I love (gray, black, and purple) that have a built-in nursing bra and the sides just unsnap to allow feeding. I am comfortable in public in this top, but it's mainly great for at home. I need to find more shirts since this will go on for 6 months to a year, and these are sort of workout-casual.
Also due to feeding, my trip to Target and just about everything else revolves around a two-hour window from one feed to the next. Senthil is starting to remember to account for this as well. He was home, I fed her, and I was out the door - and back with groceries and clothes in an hour and a half - really good considering the drive out there is 15 minutes. So my time since having her goes a bit like that.
Don't plan on working the first week after giving birth. This might sound obvious, but I had a few last items to get completed (legal forms, appointments to schedule, etc.) and it was really hard. Harder than usual. Something that would have taken me a few hours was this burden in my foggy, sleep-deprived mind for four days while I struggled with the fact that I would have to wait to deal with it. However, I finally got caught up on sleep - I sleep when she sleeps as much as I need to - and got it done on day 9. That felt really good, to be rested, back to normal, feeling like my old self even pre-pregnancy only with this perfect little bonus daughter that I love! Also on day 9, we took our first walk in the stroller and she slept peacefully the entire time.
 |
| Koral and Milo Sleeping |
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| Koral and Grandpa |
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| Milo is never far away. |
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| Beautiful Littles |
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| Baby's first sponge bath, following YouTube instructional |
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| After Bath |
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| My girl |
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| With Dad |
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| First Walk |
That's the short version of what's been going on!
The Hospital Stay: the first two days
(Originally Published July 2014)
Let's see. Today is Saturday, so I have to remember back a little. Koral was born on Wednesday morning at 2:24 a.m., 18 inches long. So that makes her 4 days old today. A lot has happened, but try to go in order.
Immediately, Koral was a great eater. She suckled for 80 minutes straight and then fell asleep. I don't know if she got anything during this time, but this would jump-start the flow of the first milk for later. Her belly was full of amniotic fluid anyway.
On Wednesday, we were moved to our permanent room two hours after delivery. I don't know why hospitals give classes and videos about what it will be like if they don't follow it anyway. This particular hospital bragged on video that you stay in the same room you birth in, and it's really not true. It's a whole different wing of the hospital. But I was happy because the bed was nicer and the room was bigger in the new one.
Senthil was able to fall asleep quickly, but I was on a proud-mama adrenaline high that whole first day. Looking back, maybe I should have really tried to sleep, but at the same time, I don't know if I could.
Senthil would wake up and see me all alert and tell me to sleep and I would say I was fine and he would think in his head, "Crap, this will be terrible later" and he was right. What they did not tell us is the baby is super tired and easy the first day. She would occasionally spit up slim that was amniotic fluid, and the nurse or I would take the sucker-bulb thingy and remove it from her coughing tiny mouth. She fed maybe a few times, but she mostly just slept, slept and slept.
But the second day, that is rough and I was not rested for it at all. I was ready to crash and here she was ready to Cluster Feed - which is to feed every hour. This is when her stomach is no longer full of amniotic fluid and is empty, but so tiny she can only fill it for a tiny bit, then it processes, and she wants to fill it again. I felt like sleeping, but was interrupted on repeat by her, nurses coming in for blood pressure checks, diaper changing, whatever. Senthil slept through most all of this, but in the few hours where I couldn't function, he woke up and rolled her in the cart through the halls for a half hour at a time to stop the crying and sooth her so I could catch 20 minutes of sleep to tide me over.
While all of this was going on, I was still just amazed at what I had done. I don't know if that will ever go away, and I think that is the great attachment that all moms feel. This is super emotional and your eyes tear up thinking about it in ways that they wouldn't for a puppy you dearly love or even your spouse. Senthil is my world - Koral is our world. That makes everything stronger, better, more interesting. The only problem is she is just so tiny I am totally afraid of her getting hurt. I hear they grow up quickly, and am kind of looking forward to when she is at least ten pounds so I can feel a little more secure she won't break! (Day 4 Dr. Apt, she's only 5 pounds and 10 ounces - they always lose weight before gaining it back. So tiny!)
Next up: Choas in feeding...
Let's see. Today is Saturday, so I have to remember back a little. Koral was born on Wednesday morning at 2:24 a.m., 18 inches long. So that makes her 4 days old today. A lot has happened, but try to go in order.
Immediately, Koral was a great eater. She suckled for 80 minutes straight and then fell asleep. I don't know if she got anything during this time, but this would jump-start the flow of the first milk for later. Her belly was full of amniotic fluid anyway.
On Wednesday, we were moved to our permanent room two hours after delivery. I don't know why hospitals give classes and videos about what it will be like if they don't follow it anyway. This particular hospital bragged on video that you stay in the same room you birth in, and it's really not true. It's a whole different wing of the hospital. But I was happy because the bed was nicer and the room was bigger in the new one.
Senthil was able to fall asleep quickly, but I was on a proud-mama adrenaline high that whole first day. Looking back, maybe I should have really tried to sleep, but at the same time, I don't know if I could.
Senthil would wake up and see me all alert and tell me to sleep and I would say I was fine and he would think in his head, "Crap, this will be terrible later" and he was right. What they did not tell us is the baby is super tired and easy the first day. She would occasionally spit up slim that was amniotic fluid, and the nurse or I would take the sucker-bulb thingy and remove it from her coughing tiny mouth. She fed maybe a few times, but she mostly just slept, slept and slept.  |
| After delivery - far too happy and awake to sleep. Koral and Senthil sleeping next to me. |
But the second day, that is rough and I was not rested for it at all. I was ready to crash and here she was ready to Cluster Feed - which is to feed every hour. This is when her stomach is no longer full of amniotic fluid and is empty, but so tiny she can only fill it for a tiny bit, then it processes, and she wants to fill it again. I felt like sleeping, but was interrupted on repeat by her, nurses coming in for blood pressure checks, diaper changing, whatever. Senthil slept through most all of this, but in the few hours where I couldn't function, he woke up and rolled her in the cart through the halls for a half hour at a time to stop the crying and sooth her so I could catch 20 minutes of sleep to tide me over.
While all of this was going on, I was still just amazed at what I had done. I don't know if that will ever go away, and I think that is the great attachment that all moms feel. This is super emotional and your eyes tear up thinking about it in ways that they wouldn't for a puppy you dearly love or even your spouse. Senthil is my world - Koral is our world. That makes everything stronger, better, more interesting. The only problem is she is just so tiny I am totally afraid of her getting hurt. I hear they grow up quickly, and am kind of looking forward to when she is at least ten pounds so I can feel a little more secure she won't break! (Day 4 Dr. Apt, she's only 5 pounds and 10 ounces - they always lose weight before gaining it back. So tiny!)
Next up: Choas in feeding...
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Surviving Labor
(Originally Published July 2014)
First, the hospital is going to do something to piss you off. At check-in, I got mad quickly.
Senthil and I had gone to this very desk last week in a practice run. I asked questions about any possible forms I could fill out then. They said there was nothing. At in check-in, I was first asked for a living will and about three other random documents. Grrr, I would have prepared them if they would have simply told me last week. It's fine, though. But I had back-labor pain. Koral was pushing on my spine from inside, and my salvation would be in the form of a heating pad, which I was told by the classes (given at this hospital) was an option. Guess what? No heating pads!!!!! Crazy policy about people getting burned.
I was livid and having more painful contractions. We were taken to the first of our three rooms - triage. This is where they checked me and I was 4.5 cm. I thought, that's it? We were eventually moved to a room in Labor and Delivery where I was hooked up to a horrible monitoring device by a tight band around my belly. This was again not what I was told in the classes. I was told I would be free to move and labor unhooked if drug-free.
Well, another policy they tell you only when you get there is they have to monitor baby every half hour for 15 minutes with this tightening belly band and monitor that makes you crazy. My mantra continued - "Noo nonononononononononononooooooo, ohhh, it's baadddd...." Yes, I was a baby about the contractions until they let me off that monitor and into the shower. Thank god for the shower. That set up the next few hours. Shower for 20 minutes, get out, put on the gown half-wet, lay down, belly band, monitor and contractions, back to the shower.
Senthil discovered we could bring our own heating pad! He called Mom and Dad right away and luckily they were able to buy one and bring it. That got me through the worst parts of being in the bed for my back-labor. Mom and Dad wanted to stay, and were quietly sitting on the couch while I focused on contractions, showering, moaning, etc. I didn't care where they were, but kicked them out near the escalation. I kind of knew at the point where it got worse and I would no longer be able to shower. This was coming up on something bad.
I remember laying there, discovering from a nurse that I could breath through the contractions instead of moaning and mantra-ing. It didn't improve much, and my throat got really dry, but it kept me from hyperventilating and Senthil got some sleep.
Oh, I forgot, they won't give you food or water. Only ice pieces to eat.
In through the nose, out through the mouth long - the breathing went like that. The nurse was awesome when she told me I was doing really well for someone with no drugs. She said some women do much worse with the epidural. My favorite thing she said was that I was almost done. I was 9.5 cm and about ready to push. I asked how I would know when to push, and she just said I would know.
I remember a lot of nurses came in. A lot. Like six, ten? Senthil was awake again, watching them. Then the urge to push came and they were holding my exhaustedly shuddering legs and coaching me - curl your spine into the push - bare down on your middle, don't push through your legs - take a big breath and HOLD it, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, okay - quick breath, again! 1, 2, 3 . . .
I pushed. The contractions told me when. It happened. I was sweaty. One awesome nurse mopped off my face, and Senthil had the lovely spray-bottle fan from CVS that I love. I looked at him and said, "Do it" and he pulled the trigger. All the nurses laughed. We pushed, breathed, pushed. Little breaks were taken. Senthil later referred to me in this time as "in charge like a CEO." I talked about delayed cord cutting in between pushing, I told them when I would push and demanded someone count for me, when they explained about the liquid being spread down there was for lubrication, I said, "Yes, like a slip-n-slide, just do it" and pushed. Sometime in the mix the water had broken like a huge warm gush - I think earlier on. This was fine.
The doctor was called. I remember one nurse said, "Should I get Dr. K?" and someone said "let's let her push a few minutes" and I said, "Yes, get her. Get Dr. K!" When she came in, somehow the bed transformed. There were suddenly big places for my legs to be - not metal stirrups but some kind of big leather grooves. Senthil said the whole bottom of the bed broke off and they connected this other thing. I was being coached through pushing but after many pushes, I could not believe she wasn't out. They kept telling me they could see her hair. Why wasn't she out? I pushed hard. Then I told them she was not coming, she was stuck, I couldn't do it - and I would push - and then tell them again, it's not happening - she's too big? I don't know if I tore like they said or if Dr. K cut me, but that was what got her out. Head was out - YES - then one shoulder, then the other, and she was REAL.
Senthil's face. He saw everything, and he followed that baby. He got her first cry on video with the iPad. He was amazed. Later he would tell me my nether regions looked like a whole new scientific thing, nothing he had seen before. I'm shocked to say I never did poop during the process. I read so many blogs about women fearing that, and I simply didn't care if I did. But I didn't. Senthil said things (hemorrhoids?) were bulging out (they went back in, I'm fine now...) and her head was emerging and it was crazy.
I got through it! I got her out! I was pretty thrilled. They handed her to me and Senthil took that first picture of us together while Dr. K was sewing me up and someone reached an entire arm inside of me three times in a terrible way to get out some undelivered bits of placenta. However, Koral was there and the best distraction ever. Like I said, just amazed to have gotten through labor and that she was real.
Most amazing, I never hit my 10. The doctor said a 10 on the pain scale would be getting your leg cut off. I was saving for my 10. I hit my 8. It was as bad as a migraine headache, but quicker. Therefore, while new and not easy at all, it was better than a long migraine headache. This was without any pain killer - not even a Tylenol. Afterward, I would start on Motrin for the stitches and cramps.
First, the hospital is going to do something to piss you off. At check-in, I got mad quickly.
Senthil and I had gone to this very desk last week in a practice run. I asked questions about any possible forms I could fill out then. They said there was nothing. At in check-in, I was first asked for a living will and about three other random documents. Grrr, I would have prepared them if they would have simply told me last week. It's fine, though. But I had back-labor pain. Koral was pushing on my spine from inside, and my salvation would be in the form of a heating pad, which I was told by the classes (given at this hospital) was an option. Guess what? No heating pads!!!!! Crazy policy about people getting burned.
I was livid and having more painful contractions. We were taken to the first of our three rooms - triage. This is where they checked me and I was 4.5 cm. I thought, that's it? We were eventually moved to a room in Labor and Delivery where I was hooked up to a horrible monitoring device by a tight band around my belly. This was again not what I was told in the classes. I was told I would be free to move and labor unhooked if drug-free.
Well, another policy they tell you only when you get there is they have to monitor baby every half hour for 15 minutes with this tightening belly band and monitor that makes you crazy. My mantra continued - "Noo nonononononononononononooooooo, ohhh, it's baadddd...." Yes, I was a baby about the contractions until they let me off that monitor and into the shower. Thank god for the shower. That set up the next few hours. Shower for 20 minutes, get out, put on the gown half-wet, lay down, belly band, monitor and contractions, back to the shower.
Senthil discovered we could bring our own heating pad! He called Mom and Dad right away and luckily they were able to buy one and bring it. That got me through the worst parts of being in the bed for my back-labor. Mom and Dad wanted to stay, and were quietly sitting on the couch while I focused on contractions, showering, moaning, etc. I didn't care where they were, but kicked them out near the escalation. I kind of knew at the point where it got worse and I would no longer be able to shower. This was coming up on something bad.
I remember laying there, discovering from a nurse that I could breath through the contractions instead of moaning and mantra-ing. It didn't improve much, and my throat got really dry, but it kept me from hyperventilating and Senthil got some sleep.
Oh, I forgot, they won't give you food or water. Only ice pieces to eat.
In through the nose, out through the mouth long - the breathing went like that. The nurse was awesome when she told me I was doing really well for someone with no drugs. She said some women do much worse with the epidural. My favorite thing she said was that I was almost done. I was 9.5 cm and about ready to push. I asked how I would know when to push, and she just said I would know.
I remember a lot of nurses came in. A lot. Like six, ten? Senthil was awake again, watching them. Then the urge to push came and they were holding my exhaustedly shuddering legs and coaching me - curl your spine into the push - bare down on your middle, don't push through your legs - take a big breath and HOLD it, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, okay - quick breath, again! 1, 2, 3 . . .
I pushed. The contractions told me when. It happened. I was sweaty. One awesome nurse mopped off my face, and Senthil had the lovely spray-bottle fan from CVS that I love. I looked at him and said, "Do it" and he pulled the trigger. All the nurses laughed. We pushed, breathed, pushed. Little breaks were taken. Senthil later referred to me in this time as "in charge like a CEO." I talked about delayed cord cutting in between pushing, I told them when I would push and demanded someone count for me, when they explained about the liquid being spread down there was for lubrication, I said, "Yes, like a slip-n-slide, just do it" and pushed. Sometime in the mix the water had broken like a huge warm gush - I think earlier on. This was fine.
The doctor was called. I remember one nurse said, "Should I get Dr. K?" and someone said "let's let her push a few minutes" and I said, "Yes, get her. Get Dr. K!" When she came in, somehow the bed transformed. There were suddenly big places for my legs to be - not metal stirrups but some kind of big leather grooves. Senthil said the whole bottom of the bed broke off and they connected this other thing. I was being coached through pushing but after many pushes, I could not believe she wasn't out. They kept telling me they could see her hair. Why wasn't she out? I pushed hard. Then I told them she was not coming, she was stuck, I couldn't do it - and I would push - and then tell them again, it's not happening - she's too big? I don't know if I tore like they said or if Dr. K cut me, but that was what got her out. Head was out - YES - then one shoulder, then the other, and she was REAL.
Senthil's face. He saw everything, and he followed that baby. He got her first cry on video with the iPad. He was amazed. Later he would tell me my nether regions looked like a whole new scientific thing, nothing he had seen before. I'm shocked to say I never did poop during the process. I read so many blogs about women fearing that, and I simply didn't care if I did. But I didn't. Senthil said things (hemorrhoids?) were bulging out (they went back in, I'm fine now...) and her head was emerging and it was crazy.
I got through it! I got her out! I was pretty thrilled. They handed her to me and Senthil took that first picture of us together while Dr. K was sewing me up and someone reached an entire arm inside of me three times in a terrible way to get out some undelivered bits of placenta. However, Koral was there and the best distraction ever. Like I said, just amazed to have gotten through labor and that she was real.
Most amazing, I never hit my 10. The doctor said a 10 on the pain scale would be getting your leg cut off. I was saving for my 10. I hit my 8. It was as bad as a migraine headache, but quicker. Therefore, while new and not easy at all, it was better than a long migraine headache. This was without any pain killer - not even a Tylenol. Afterward, I would start on Motrin for the stitches and cramps.
 |
| 6 Pounds, 3 Ounces |
 |
| Holding my girl for the first time! |
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| Day 4, so tiny in Dad's arms |
From Home To the Hospital
(Originally Published July 2014)
I'll try to start from the last post. First, that was the beginning, but I had a whole day of minor contractions in there where I just kind of hung around the house waiting, playing cards and pacing. Tuesday afternoon, Senthil came home from work - my parents were around all day and ate with us - and then around 2 pm I started timing the contractions. It went from 8 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart over two hours, quickly changing. I took a shower in the middle and knew it was time.
I told Senthil, it's time to go, we're going, load the car! He REALLY wanted to call the hospital and make sure we were ready and not going to be sent back home. The hospital was difficult to reach, and I said no, we have to go. Mom and Dad saw us off and took this great pic of it!
In the car, Senthil was driving AND calling the hospital. He reached a nurse and said something like, "Hi, my wife is in labor and I just wanted to call and make sure it's the right time to come in and ask a few questions." She said, "Let me speak to your wife." I said, "Hi, I know it's time." She said, "Come on in!" I hung up. Senthil said, "That wasn't very scientific."
My contraction mantra became an internal protest put to words as the pain got bad, and went something like "Ohhh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooooooooo" and repeat. This went on through the car ride and beyond. Senthil drove well, didn't speed, and we got there just perfectly not to early, not to late. I was able to walk up from the far car lot, stopping just for contractions. We arrived on the 4th floor to check in, and found to be at 4.5 cm and in progress.
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| My Stomach from My Perspective: You can barely see my toes. |
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| Waiting for Contractions to Increase |
I'll try to start from the last post. First, that was the beginning, but I had a whole day of minor contractions in there where I just kind of hung around the house waiting, playing cards and pacing. Tuesday afternoon, Senthil came home from work - my parents were around all day and ate with us - and then around 2 pm I started timing the contractions. It went from 8 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart over two hours, quickly changing. I took a shower in the middle and knew it was time.
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| Mom and Dad |
I told Senthil, it's time to go, we're going, load the car! He REALLY wanted to call the hospital and make sure we were ready and not going to be sent back home. The hospital was difficult to reach, and I said no, we have to go. Mom and Dad saw us off and took this great pic of it!
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| Holding up my Contraction Timing App |
In the car, Senthil was driving AND calling the hospital. He reached a nurse and said something like, "Hi, my wife is in labor and I just wanted to call and make sure it's the right time to come in and ask a few questions." She said, "Let me speak to your wife." I said, "Hi, I know it's time." She said, "Come on in!" I hung up. Senthil said, "That wasn't very scientific."
My contraction mantra became an internal protest put to words as the pain got bad, and went something like "Ohhh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooooooooo" and repeat. This went on through the car ride and beyond. Senthil drove well, didn't speed, and we got there just perfectly not to early, not to late. I was able to walk up from the far car lot, stopping just for contractions. We arrived on the 4th floor to check in, and found to be at 4.5 cm and in progress.
I think she's almost ready! (3 Days Left)
(Originally Posted July 2014)
Cramping is going on in a big way. I think this is the beginning of the end - labor may be close today!
At 1:15 I got up and felt cramps similar to monthly cramps. I walked around the living room for a while and they mostly subsided, but then they are back at 5:00 a.m. While this is not THE big moment, this tells me something is changing or happening! I think she's getting ready. Technically, 3 days left. Maybe she's going to be punctual or slightly early. It's getting fairly hard to ignore now - sometimes breaking to walk is good. This is great news! Yay!
As long as I don't get a headache, I should be fine. A migraine would complicate things a lot as far as focusing on pain management. I can do this. There will be a point in labor where I think I can't do this. But I can. I know it's possible. I know it will hurt. I know later it will be terribly sore and difficult for a while. But the point is, it can be done.
Cramping is going on in a big way. I think this is the beginning of the end - labor may be close today!
At 1:15 I got up and felt cramps similar to monthly cramps. I walked around the living room for a while and they mostly subsided, but then they are back at 5:00 a.m. While this is not THE big moment, this tells me something is changing or happening! I think she's getting ready. Technically, 3 days left. Maybe she's going to be punctual or slightly early. It's getting fairly hard to ignore now - sometimes breaking to walk is good. This is great news! Yay!
As long as I don't get a headache, I should be fine. A migraine would complicate things a lot as far as focusing on pain management. I can do this. There will be a point in labor where I think I can't do this. But I can. I know it's possible. I know it will hurt. I know later it will be terribly sore and difficult for a while. But the point is, it can be done.
5 days until the due date
(Originally Published July 2014)
With only five days left, the waiting game continues. My parents arrived two days ago and have settled in to Koral's room for their stay.
It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm pretty tired, but I think I couldn't sleep because I knew in the back of my head that I left wet clothes in the washer and it haunted me. Also, my parents were up later than I was and I wanted to check on Milo. He's not in his kennel while they are here since it's up in their room, and is staying on the couch at night. He's very good about it, but I just wanted to make sure he was settled. Of course everything was fine. Now I'm just waiting to get sleepy again.
With only five days left, the waiting game continues. My parents arrived two days ago and have settled in to Koral's room for their stay.
It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm pretty tired, but I think I couldn't sleep because I knew in the back of my head that I left wet clothes in the washer and it haunted me. Also, my parents were up later than I was and I wanted to check on Milo. He's not in his kennel while they are here since it's up in their room, and is staying on the couch at night. He's very good about it, but I just wanted to make sure he was settled. Of course everything was fine. Now I'm just waiting to get sleepy again.
What the doctor said - Week 39 continued
(Originally Posted July 2014)
Well, I'm dilated 2.5 cm and the cervix is 75% thinned out! I knew I had to be dilated at least a little due to the mucus run-off, which may be TMI, but maybe this will be useful to someone else.
Senthil and I checked our paperwork and billing to be certain we were all in order, and everything is looking good. Right now it's just a waiting game.
I'm super excited for my parents to arrive tomorrow and that's a nice distraction from the waiting! I think maybe we will chat and play yahtzee. Not sure if my mom is open to getting a pedicure, but that would be nice to do, too. I did successfully paint my nails about three weeks ago, but I think at this point it's too much effort. A nice glossy coat would be lovely. Maybe she'll go with me.
Other than this, they should visit the local coffee bean roasting company a block up the walking path and taste the brew, go to our local brewery as well for Spartanburg beer, check out the nature trails with Senthil and Milo some cool morning or evening, and if they feel like a day trip after Koral, then they should go to the beach! So much to see and do. They've spent this week roaming the North Carolina mountains on their Harley and found natural hot springs with a spa, waterfalls, restaurants, cabins and houses to stay in, and rode The Dragon Trail - a windy mountain road that just keeps twisting! Glad they're having a good trip to the beautiful south. You can't beat the nature and weather down here.
Signing off for now!
Well, I'm dilated 2.5 cm and the cervix is 75% thinned out! I knew I had to be dilated at least a little due to the mucus run-off, which may be TMI, but maybe this will be useful to someone else.
Senthil and I checked our paperwork and billing to be certain we were all in order, and everything is looking good. Right now it's just a waiting game.
I'm super excited for my parents to arrive tomorrow and that's a nice distraction from the waiting! I think maybe we will chat and play yahtzee. Not sure if my mom is open to getting a pedicure, but that would be nice to do, too. I did successfully paint my nails about three weeks ago, but I think at this point it's too much effort. A nice glossy coat would be lovely. Maybe she'll go with me.
Other than this, they should visit the local coffee bean roasting company a block up the walking path and taste the brew, go to our local brewery as well for Spartanburg beer, check out the nature trails with Senthil and Milo some cool morning or evening, and if they feel like a day trip after Koral, then they should go to the beach! So much to see and do. They've spent this week roaming the North Carolina mountains on their Harley and found natural hot springs with a spa, waterfalls, restaurants, cabins and houses to stay in, and rode The Dragon Trail - a windy mountain road that just keeps twisting! Glad they're having a good trip to the beautiful south. You can't beat the nature and weather down here.
Signing off for now!
Updated: Week 39 Doctor Appointment Day
(Originally Posted July 2014)
This has been a rough week. Monday, after the night of contractions, I got up and went to the office to collect my things to work from home. I was doing great for about four hours, and crashed from exhaustion. Tuesday I had no motivation - I was just feeling blue and very tired. Wednesday morning was the same. Finally, Wednesday afternoon I perked up and felt like cleaning. When things are getting a bit messy, this is typical of me to want to neaten up. Senthil had been extra busy with HealthPlotter (his start-up company), which has had an important week, and I really wanted to help so despite the arrangement we've had since I've gotten pretty huge, I did the dishes and took out the trash. I've been doing laundry throughout pregnancy and most other things have been okay. This really helped Senthil's stress level for the night and we even got to slowly walk to the dog park and back (2 miles total) in the late evening. My lower back was affected by this, but it felt pretty good to get out and I was careful to go slow.
The other nice thing we accomplished today was the carseats. We took in the Sentra to get a detailed cleaning before installing the bases. Well, we also found out why parents have been driven to buy SUVs! While I am fine having a child in a smaller car, the car seat itself placed behind the seat does not allow the adult in the front seat to have any leg room. First I put it behind the driver's seat, but Senthil couldn't fit in there to drive long-distance at all. So I moved it to the passenger side back...well, I guess the passenger parent will just be cramped. The other base has not been installed in the other car yet, but we know how now thanks to YouTube. Strollers and diaper bags and emergency kits are in the trunks, and we're in okay shape.
We still need:
It seems incredible there is still something we have not bought. However, we still need the back window mirror to see Koral (since she has to face backwards, which I hate), Window shades for the back to keep the sun off of her, a baby monitor, a dishwasher basket for bottle parts, a bottle brush for cleaning bottles, and possibly a radio with lullabies. I'm not sure how music is done today. Senthil and I don't play a ton of music, and don't have iPods anymore. We're researching whether to get an iPod and radio-speaker base, or CDs, or if there is a radio that you can download music directly to. We're a little late on that since I was supposed to figure out a song list for birthing to help me through labor and haven't done that.
Tomorrow is the week 39 appointment. I have to get back up in two hours for an early morning business meeting, but at my 3:30 bathroom break I was hungry. Something they don't tell you is 1.) Acid reflux is one of the worst parts of pregnancy, keeping you from laying down and making you belch up acidic gas that burns your mouth frequently and 2.) You will pee every two hours no matter how much you drink, and it's really hard flipping over to crawl out of bed with that tummy! After meeting an investor to our co-working space at 8:00, we're driving to Greenville for the appointment at 9:30, which will probably take a while since lately they are short-staffed. This will determine how dilated I am possibly.
Well, that's the update! 8 days to go!
This has been a rough week. Monday, after the night of contractions, I got up and went to the office to collect my things to work from home. I was doing great for about four hours, and crashed from exhaustion. Tuesday I had no motivation - I was just feeling blue and very tired. Wednesday morning was the same. Finally, Wednesday afternoon I perked up and felt like cleaning. When things are getting a bit messy, this is typical of me to want to neaten up. Senthil had been extra busy with HealthPlotter (his start-up company), which has had an important week, and I really wanted to help so despite the arrangement we've had since I've gotten pretty huge, I did the dishes and took out the trash. I've been doing laundry throughout pregnancy and most other things have been okay. This really helped Senthil's stress level for the night and we even got to slowly walk to the dog park and back (2 miles total) in the late evening. My lower back was affected by this, but it felt pretty good to get out and I was careful to go slow.
The other nice thing we accomplished today was the carseats. We took in the Sentra to get a detailed cleaning before installing the bases. Well, we also found out why parents have been driven to buy SUVs! While I am fine having a child in a smaller car, the car seat itself placed behind the seat does not allow the adult in the front seat to have any leg room. First I put it behind the driver's seat, but Senthil couldn't fit in there to drive long-distance at all. So I moved it to the passenger side back...well, I guess the passenger parent will just be cramped. The other base has not been installed in the other car yet, but we know how now thanks to YouTube. Strollers and diaper bags and emergency kits are in the trunks, and we're in okay shape.
We still need:
It seems incredible there is still something we have not bought. However, we still need the back window mirror to see Koral (since she has to face backwards, which I hate), Window shades for the back to keep the sun off of her, a baby monitor, a dishwasher basket for bottle parts, a bottle brush for cleaning bottles, and possibly a radio with lullabies. I'm not sure how music is done today. Senthil and I don't play a ton of music, and don't have iPods anymore. We're researching whether to get an iPod and radio-speaker base, or CDs, or if there is a radio that you can download music directly to. We're a little late on that since I was supposed to figure out a song list for birthing to help me through labor and haven't done that.
Tomorrow is the week 39 appointment. I have to get back up in two hours for an early morning business meeting, but at my 3:30 bathroom break I was hungry. Something they don't tell you is 1.) Acid reflux is one of the worst parts of pregnancy, keeping you from laying down and making you belch up acidic gas that burns your mouth frequently and 2.) You will pee every two hours no matter how much you drink, and it's really hard flipping over to crawl out of bed with that tummy! After meeting an investor to our co-working space at 8:00, we're driving to Greenville for the appointment at 9:30, which will probably take a while since lately they are short-staffed. This will determine how dilated I am possibly.
Well, that's the update! 8 days to go!
Why is it Taboo?
It's shocking how inappropriate I feel when I see a person feeding a baby like a mammal. I remember as a child I felt awkward even when people referred to the tip of a "baby bottle" as a nipple. In the end, it seems we're all just acting like Amish people at a pool party. Why is it taboo to see human milk? Why does it make me uncomfortable to hear the word "breast"? I know it's only because I never see it happening and have been conditioned to feel this way.
While boys growing up play-fight with their man-parts and kick each other in the stuff, girls seem to either be ashamed of their chest region or overly sexualize it. I pretty much ignored the whole thing and had a nice small chest, to my relief. However, since the sixth month of pregnancy, they just...doubled. From size A to C in a few weeks. It's a lot to take in as my identity feels somewhat altered. However, I'm so glad they have a purpose, and now that I see how clever the whole system is, why is it taboo? Maybe I ask this because I'm not with a "breast" guy. I have heard of men out there that just love boobs. Everyone has a good part. But then, there are apparently also "leg" men. Do we feel scandalized toward the bare leg anymore? Not in most of the United States, thank goodness. And then there's the butt. Let's face it. Thongs are legal. How? I don't know. Seems kind of yucky to me since what can come out of that is a lot less clean than milk you feed a baby, but the breasts and particularly mammalian-style feeding is targeted as really one of the most shunned parts of a human.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If a fat hairy man with breast tissue larger than my own can legally bare his top-stuff, I should be able to, also. But now that there's a full use coming up here with the birth of my daughter in a week, I feel even more strongly about this! Before it was for comfort, hot weather, and social equality. Now it seems like oppression to not be able to. I guarantee I will never go to a toilet stall to feed my baby. Can you think of a more filthy place?! And some places ask you to use your car. In hot and cold weather. Yeah, right.
Have you heard of this problem of "dry and cracked nipples" that is a painful part of feeding? It turns out that if you just express some milk at the end of feeding and rub it on the nipple (don't use a sanitizing wipe with alcohol, basically) and then let it "air dry" (or don't cover it up in layers of a pad, bra, shirt, etc.) then it won't get dry and cracked. It's all made to be out in the air and sunshine. Big Sigh. The more you learn, the more ridiculous it gets.
Again, as I come across related articles, I'll post the links to my homepage tab "links." I've been reading several in the past months. Thanks again for reading!
Starting Week 39 - Contractions Have Begun
(Originally Published July 2014)
Last night around 11 a lower back ache began that had to be what is called "back labor." It was not the same as a strain, but the baby leaning on the wrong thing in there. We heated up the grain bag as a hot pack and waited while contractions kept coming and I felt cramp after cramp, but after two hours I went to sleep and nothing ever happened. Today I feel fine, lots of "tightenings" but no pain or cramps so I don't think it's really gonna happen anytime soon. Koral is wiggling more and more with the tightenings like she knows this tummy wants her out and she doesn't appreciate the space shortage, but I still think it will be another week.
Reflection on my current state:
(Men may not what to read this part, but if you do, it may do you some good. Treat it like how you observed as a cicada crawl out of the ground and shed it's skin, with scientific curiosity. After all, you don't have this astounding ability, and it may be worth studying.)
Knowing soon I will be left with a bit of a mess as far as my body shape is concerned has led me to take more selfies as proof that I was indeed huge for a reason and later this will perhaps make me feel better. I have a very healthy outlook on the "after" body and at least know from other people's blogs what is to be expected. I expect the stretch marks to be what they are, and I expect it to take six to nine months to get fairly back to normal again.
You know those people with the ear lobe spaces that have over time gaged up and up and up and have a large hollow now? Then they take out the spacer - and it's kind of disgusting unstretched? Well, that's what I think this will be like. Not the prettiest picture, but reality.
I don't think the 3-week bounce back flaunted by popular culture is healthy or normal and probably is too much pressure. I will do my best at my own personal speed and feel good about it. If anyone, including my dad who sometimes makes comments he shouldn't about weight, tries to alter my perception to feel negative about my adaption, I will not be influenced. That being said, I feel confident and strong and beautiful and proud to be able to go through this process. I feel a little old compared to when other members of my family gave birth - but then young when I remember I've just turned 29. Koral will know me in my 30s and 40s and beyond, but I am young at heart.
Last night around 11 a lower back ache began that had to be what is called "back labor." It was not the same as a strain, but the baby leaning on the wrong thing in there. We heated up the grain bag as a hot pack and waited while contractions kept coming and I felt cramp after cramp, but after two hours I went to sleep and nothing ever happened. Today I feel fine, lots of "tightenings" but no pain or cramps so I don't think it's really gonna happen anytime soon. Koral is wiggling more and more with the tightenings like she knows this tummy wants her out and she doesn't appreciate the space shortage, but I still think it will be another week.
Reflection on my current state:
(Men may not what to read this part, but if you do, it may do you some good. Treat it like how you observed as a cicada crawl out of the ground and shed it's skin, with scientific curiosity. After all, you don't have this astounding ability, and it may be worth studying.)
Knowing soon I will be left with a bit of a mess as far as my body shape is concerned has led me to take more selfies as proof that I was indeed huge for a reason and later this will perhaps make me feel better. I have a very healthy outlook on the "after" body and at least know from other people's blogs what is to be expected. I expect the stretch marks to be what they are, and I expect it to take six to nine months to get fairly back to normal again.
You know those people with the ear lobe spaces that have over time gaged up and up and up and have a large hollow now? Then they take out the spacer - and it's kind of disgusting unstretched? Well, that's what I think this will be like. Not the prettiest picture, but reality.
I don't think the 3-week bounce back flaunted by popular culture is healthy or normal and probably is too much pressure. I will do my best at my own personal speed and feel good about it. If anyone, including my dad who sometimes makes comments he shouldn't about weight, tries to alter my perception to feel negative about my adaption, I will not be influenced. That being said, I feel confident and strong and beautiful and proud to be able to go through this process. I feel a little old compared to when other members of my family gave birth - but then young when I remember I've just turned 29. Koral will know me in my 30s and 40s and beyond, but I am young at heart.
Gender: What changed when we found out?
(Originally Published July 2014)
This is a very interesting topic in the world today. What really changed?
We could pick a name.
I read a lot of girl empowerment articles.
People gave us a lot of pink and purple colored baby things like crib sheets and blankets and clothes.
We were given a lot of dresses.
I bought a baby book called "Girls of the World" showing pictures of baby girls from all over.
Senthil got nervous about the teen years he does not feel prepared for.
Here's what didn't change:
I made a deliberate attempt to stay mostly neutral in decorating if I bought something. I would have bought almost everything I got for a boy, also. When I thought we were having a boy early on, I planned to also use some pink and purple as well and not just what has become "Boy Aisle" colors.
Senthil wants to teach our child coding and sports and I want to take our child camping and show her how to build things and to make paintings with her and print her little hands and feet on paper every so often to track her growth. She may say no and not like any of these things, but currently we have these dreams.
Everything else. Everything else didn't change. It's been thought-provoking as I read about how girls are changed by society incremental in so many ways. How boys who talk more in schools are seen as leaders while girls who talk more are seen as bossy - and an endless other list. I'm going set up a side tab with links to other articles about this that I find interesting or relevant on the home page, rather than repeating everything I read. I will stay informed and I hope you find this useful.
Also, one of my favorite sites is A Mighty Girl, so I'm putting that on there, too.
Thought-Provoking Articles about Gender:
http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2014-05-10-simple-words-every-girl-learn/
Great Sites for Parents of Girls:
http://www.amightygirl.com
http://www.goldieblox.com
This is a very interesting topic in the world today. What really changed?
I read a lot of girl empowerment articles.
People gave us a lot of pink and purple colored baby things like crib sheets and blankets and clothes.
We were given a lot of dresses.
I bought a baby book called "Girls of the World" showing pictures of baby girls from all over.
Senthil got nervous about the teen years he does not feel prepared for.
I made a deliberate attempt to stay mostly neutral in decorating if I bought something. I would have bought almost everything I got for a boy, also. When I thought we were having a boy early on, I planned to also use some pink and purple as well and not just what has become "Boy Aisle" colors.
Senthil wants to teach our child coding and sports and I want to take our child camping and show her how to build things and to make paintings with her and print her little hands and feet on paper every so often to track her growth. She may say no and not like any of these things, but currently we have these dreams.
Everything else. Everything else didn't change. It's been thought-provoking as I read about how girls are changed by society incremental in so many ways. How boys who talk more in schools are seen as leaders while girls who talk more are seen as bossy - and an endless other list. I'm going set up a side tab with links to other articles about this that I find interesting or relevant on the home page, rather than repeating everything I read. I will stay informed and I hope you find this useful.
Also, one of my favorite sites is A Mighty Girl, so I'm putting that on there, too.
Thought-Provoking Articles about Gender:
http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2014-05-10-simple-words-every-girl-learn/
Great Sites for Parents of Girls:
http://www.amightygirl.com
http://www.goldieblox.com
Whoa. Week 38.
Originally published in July 2014
Yesterday we had a doctor appointment, and found out she was indeed positioned head-down, but was facing the wrong way. So, we went home and I put out the yoga matt and pillows and got in "cat's pose" to turn her - and I think it worked! I don't feel knees anymore, but a lower, bigger form that must be her little rump! I was also trying not to sleep on my back since that might turn her back over. Today, my belly looks a different shape of round and she feels low - really low. I think she dropped further in. Planning a nice walk tonight!
Yes. That is me in the tub. Yes, that is my enormous belly with stretch marks.
Much to our surprise, yesterday my belly and Koral were measuring SMALL. I laughed out loud when the doc said that. She ordered an ultrasound to check on her and apparently she is only about 6 lbs and 6 ounces right now, instead of seven or over. I think she's fine.
Yesterday we had a doctor appointment, and found out she was indeed positioned head-down, but was facing the wrong way. So, we went home and I put out the yoga matt and pillows and got in "cat's pose" to turn her - and I think it worked! I don't feel knees anymore, but a lower, bigger form that must be her little rump! I was also trying not to sleep on my back since that might turn her back over. Today, my belly looks a different shape of round and she feels low - really low. I think she dropped further in. Planning a nice walk tonight!
Yes. That is me in the tub. Yes, that is my enormous belly with stretch marks.
Much to our surprise, yesterday my belly and Koral were measuring SMALL. I laughed out loud when the doc said that. She ordered an ultrasound to check on her and apparently she is only about 6 lbs and 6 ounces right now, instead of seven or over. I think she's fine.
Milo, our amazing practice child and doggie boy
Originally Published July 2014
Where would we be without Milo? Milo is our two year old beagle mix. He's been Senthil's first pet and our first "child" through the last year and a half. He has all the privileges of a child, or more, since we don't have to worry about his growing-up future. He loves car rides, Starbucks drive-throughs (whipped cream doggie cup), the occasional ice cream, wrestling with Senthil, dog parks, walks, doggie toothpaste, being brushed, and sleeping in our bed on occasion - in the middle. He hates baths and being left alone. The amazing thing about Milo, other than just being the most human-like and well-behaved dog I've ever had, is how Senthil has formed this intense bond with him. They are just perfect together, Senthil has a whole language with this dog mainly made of nonsense phrases that he baby-talks to the dog when they're alone. Milo is so completely relaxed with Senthil. I trained Milo so I'm generally the one he listens to and am the "bad guy" if he gets in trouble. Senthil tried to yell at Milo once when he blatently didn't listen and ran in the road. Milo thought Senthil scolding him was funny. When I use the stern voice he tucks his ears down and licks his lips and acts like he's doomed. I personally have learned from Milo that sometimes when I'm terribly mad (back to the potty training months) I just have to let it go. Getting really upset at a little dog or little kid can just be stupid and overly scary for them. I also know from working at the preschool that I am not great at working with young kids full time. I much prefer my time at work collaborating with adults in a peaceful environment. These were all great things to learn before Koral is born. I will love to be with Koral, but I still want to work and go to that not-home environment of civilized, motivated team members which are adults.
Things to remember about being pregnant with Koral
Originally Posted June 2014
While I sit here in my new upholstered nursery glider that I brought home last Tuesday strapped to the back of my Nissan Sentra with bungee cords, I am thinking of the things, good and bad, that have happened in the almost-year (8-9 months is a REALLY long time) that I've been pregnant.
First, we tried for a baby. This was our FIRST try, so we were very proud and I was thrilled when the stick had a Plus Sign 2-3 weeks later. Senthil had come home to visit from his out-of-state start-up project based on the timing of the ovulation cycle app on my phone just to get things going. This was still a huge shock since we anticipated it taking about six months, the average length of most couples. Go us!
Telling family early - it can be rough. The reaction at that early stage when you want to tell everyone can be not as enthusiastic as you might think. People are hesitant to celebrate early.
Weeks 6 through 16 were really bad. Note for the next child - this was the worst time ever. Nothing helps, and it is Always Sickness, not "morning sickness." I didn't vomit, but I wanted to. The whole time.
At 13 weeks, that first ultrasound made me cry and laugh - baby, you were real and visible and doing little flips and kicks in there and looked so human! Nothing could have prepared me for that. Senthil's face looked stunned, like it was not all just a possibility, but a real thing, a real baby - for real!
I went through a phase where I really liked lemon ice water.
We picked the name "Koral Ella" really early - we had it by week 12. We had not decided fully on a boy name, so it was great to find out she was a girl. (My choice for a boy name was Asher Sharm. Sharm is my dad's name, and I have loved the name Asher since reading "The Giver.")
I chose the name Koral because I love the ocean, think the word itself is so pretty, and made it with a "k" not only to match my own, but because it makes it a little unique. This was also the first name Senthil and I liked together! Ella comes from the many variations of the "Cinderella" books I have read, such as "Ella Enchanted." Senthil had no choice on the middle name. (Note: Ella Enchanted is an excellent book and a horrible, horrible movie. Do not watch the movie.)
Moving during the first trimester was horrible. Moving during the third trimester was also horrible.
Koral was in a sideways position for part of the second trimester, and the kicks really hurt! Later she settled into head-down and then it was all fine.
I was great with walking four miles a day until week 35. Then my feet suddenly got sore right on the heels. In the middle. Like bone pressing into the skin. I think I just got to heavy!
Nesting IS fun. Yes, it's a lot of online comparison shopping in the middle of the night, reading articles about exceptional toys with rave reviews, googling pictures of nurseries, etc. (I wonder what the new word for "googling" will be when Koral is having her first child?)
Unfortunately, pregnancy classes with Senthil were not very fun for me. I got really frustrated about his lack of involvement up until that point. He still doesn't know most of what we've got prepared and plans to learn later as it comes - so it was all on me to research, gather, etc. He won't be able to tell you where anything is kept or what things are called right now. He calls the car seat and anything else that holds a baby the "baby holder." However, he did help me put the crib together last week and I know he's learning as he goes. Love him.
Just found out recently at our last class that breast feeding requires my commitment every 2 hours. No joke. Including nights. That basically means there are no nights. Because, you know, you have to get up every two hours at least. Ha. No wonder mothers get a little crazy. That's INSANE. Yet formula is shockingly horrible for babies in comparison. Marketing will tell you different, but after much research, Senthil and I both want to try to use human milk for the first year. Only 1% of women can't give milk for medical reasons. Everyone else just needs to do it often enough that they don't run out. So, that basically means the mother is a prisoner to milking for a really long time. This is really the most scary part for me - and something Senthil is really glad he doesn't have to do. I love my eight hours of sleep. Things are going to get messy.
While I sit here in my new upholstered nursery glider that I brought home last Tuesday strapped to the back of my Nissan Sentra with bungee cords, I am thinking of the things, good and bad, that have happened in the almost-year (8-9 months is a REALLY long time) that I've been pregnant.
First, we tried for a baby. This was our FIRST try, so we were very proud and I was thrilled when the stick had a Plus Sign 2-3 weeks later. Senthil had come home to visit from his out-of-state start-up project based on the timing of the ovulation cycle app on my phone just to get things going. This was still a huge shock since we anticipated it taking about six months, the average length of most couples. Go us!
Telling family early - it can be rough. The reaction at that early stage when you want to tell everyone can be not as enthusiastic as you might think. People are hesitant to celebrate early.
Weeks 6 through 16 were really bad. Note for the next child - this was the worst time ever. Nothing helps, and it is Always Sickness, not "morning sickness." I didn't vomit, but I wanted to. The whole time.
At 13 weeks, that first ultrasound made me cry and laugh - baby, you were real and visible and doing little flips and kicks in there and looked so human! Nothing could have prepared me for that. Senthil's face looked stunned, like it was not all just a possibility, but a real thing, a real baby - for real!
I went through a phase where I really liked lemon ice water.
We picked the name "Koral Ella" really early - we had it by week 12. We had not decided fully on a boy name, so it was great to find out she was a girl. (My choice for a boy name was Asher Sharm. Sharm is my dad's name, and I have loved the name Asher since reading "The Giver.")
I chose the name Koral because I love the ocean, think the word itself is so pretty, and made it with a "k" not only to match my own, but because it makes it a little unique. This was also the first name Senthil and I liked together! Ella comes from the many variations of the "Cinderella" books I have read, such as "Ella Enchanted." Senthil had no choice on the middle name. (Note: Ella Enchanted is an excellent book and a horrible, horrible movie. Do not watch the movie.)
Moving during the first trimester was horrible. Moving during the third trimester was also horrible.
Koral was in a sideways position for part of the second trimester, and the kicks really hurt! Later she settled into head-down and then it was all fine.
I was great with walking four miles a day until week 35. Then my feet suddenly got sore right on the heels. In the middle. Like bone pressing into the skin. I think I just got to heavy!
Nesting IS fun. Yes, it's a lot of online comparison shopping in the middle of the night, reading articles about exceptional toys with rave reviews, googling pictures of nurseries, etc. (I wonder what the new word for "googling" will be when Koral is having her first child?)
Unfortunately, pregnancy classes with Senthil were not very fun for me. I got really frustrated about his lack of involvement up until that point. He still doesn't know most of what we've got prepared and plans to learn later as it comes - so it was all on me to research, gather, etc. He won't be able to tell you where anything is kept or what things are called right now. He calls the car seat and anything else that holds a baby the "baby holder." However, he did help me put the crib together last week and I know he's learning as he goes. Love him.
Just found out recently at our last class that breast feeding requires my commitment every 2 hours. No joke. Including nights. That basically means there are no nights. Because, you know, you have to get up every two hours at least. Ha. No wonder mothers get a little crazy. That's INSANE. Yet formula is shockingly horrible for babies in comparison. Marketing will tell you different, but after much research, Senthil and I both want to try to use human milk for the first year. Only 1% of women can't give milk for medical reasons. Everyone else just needs to do it often enough that they don't run out. So, that basically means the mother is a prisoner to milking for a really long time. This is really the most scary part for me - and something Senthil is really glad he doesn't have to do. I love my eight hours of sleep. Things are going to get messy.
THE FIRST POST: 18 days until we're PARENTS?
Originally posted June 2014
That picture was taken three weeks ago. I am even larger now. The reality of parenthood could happen any second. We've heard all the stories - our friend Darlene's baby fell out when she stood up - no contractions or anything! Our other friend, Marla, just last week had a 28 hour labor that was made more awful because the baby got stuck on the way out and bruised his little face. Dominika from my book club had the same due date as me, but she delivered last week... I'm a bit jealous because I feel done, ripe, ready to go. My middle is a large watermelon. So, while I'm waiting and anticipating labor, whether it be long or short, tonight or (please no) a month from now, I'm starting "the blog." This blog is meant to be a few things. First, I would like a place to explain what I'm going through for others, because where would I be today without the other blogs out there? I wouldn't know about the reality of body changes, what to expect afterward, the importance of real milk, and all kinds of other stuff that shouldn't make you uncomfortable to hear but still does. The other is to have a place to record thoughts and pictures specifically for Koral - because I'm not going to print all the pictures and scrapbook everything in paper. Some posts will be letters to Koral or maybe later, other children. At this time, new to parenthood as we are, we plan to have at least two. So, here we go.
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