Baby Has Arrived! Ocean Arul Premraj - Born March 24th, 2016

Our sweet baby boy arrived - and here's the events of the last few days!

Saturday, my dad completed the drive from Iowa to visit us, watch Koral, and wait for baby.  That day, Koral and I went to the Earth Day festival in the morning, and Dad arrived during her nap.  She woke up, got reacquainted with him after not seeing him since December - they played chase and things - and then Senthil, Dad, Koral and I went out to eat at Mellow Mushroom for veggie pizza.  We ate, came home, put Koral to bed and then in the night I felt so sick - regretting the pizza.  I looked up nausea as a sign of labor and it was!  But after vomiting around midnight and then still feeling sick around 7 a.m., I figured it was actually the stomach bug.

However - by 10:00 I felt a bit weak but better and by 12, had some contractions!  At 1:00, I realized I should take a proper shower and get to the midwifery and have the baby - so I called the midwife, Linda, and let her know.  Dad was in disbelief, but at least was now prepared to meet Koral's needs and said bye.  Senthil and I met Linda at 2:00 and she was her usual calm and professional self.  She told us we could labor by watching a movie, walking, sitting, napping, but probably best to wait to get into the tub until active labor.  We watched a documentary for the first half hour, and then got hungry.  Senthil went to panera to buy soup and came back.  I had decided it would be nice to eat outside on this beautiful springy-summery Sunday, so Linda had washed off the picnic table and Senthil set out the food.  On the way outside, I was having contractions pretty back to back and at the table couldn't really get a moment without pain-breathing to eat, so after a few bites I gave up and any notion I had of taking a little walk vanished.  I let Linda know I was going in for a nap with the heated rice sock for the pain and probably only laid their for about 7 minutes before calling her.  The pain was getting longer, stronger and closer.  I was afraid to ask if this was "active labor" because if it was NOT, I would be so disappointed that it wasn't "that bad" yet.  She nodded yes, it was, and would I like to get in the tub?  Easing into warm water was sooooo much better.  I hadn't thought to bring a swimsuit top like in many of the videos, but didn't really care at all at that point so just undressed and slipped into the water to be buoyant and at peace.  My back hurt much less in the water, and contractions were bearable.  I was doing fine until the end when it was obvious my body was preparing to push.  Then I felt a pop and my water had broken and it was a turning point.  At that point, I realized I was in trouble because I would slip under water and potentially drown if I didn't have back support - it was a really long tub.  Senthil came and put his legs in the water to make a ramp for my back and held my head, which worked really well.  This was obviously work for him, to hold my head for the next 15 minutes of pushing, but he did really well.  It was really hard work, bearing down, listening to my body, giving in to something painful like that and pushing - but I really do well in the water and it worked for me.  From Senthil's vantage point, he could see what I could feel and it was crushing when the head was pushed out and then WENT BACK IN.  So much work!  After a few more really brave and intense tries, however, the head came out in a POP feeling and then after a bit of rest and waiting, the body followed and then he was helped immediately onto my chest to rest and be held.  The cord was very long, plenty of length.  There was no rush here that I remember - just me holding him and marveling that I had done it and he was out!  He was born at 5:11, 3 hours after arrival at the center, with the help of 2 midwives, Senthil, and me.  I starred at his face first, just holding him and falling in love and then his hands and feet.  I didn't even think to check the gender until Senthil asked, and it confirmed the ultrasound from months and months ago was correct.  After several minutes, the cord stopped pumping and Linda clamped it for Senthil to cut.  I believe Senthil held the baby as I was helped out of the tub to the bed.  I still had not delivered the placenta, which came out on a plastic mat a bit later and was taken away after we took a peek at it.  Sometimes you hear water births get very messy because of bowel movements or blood - neither was the case for us because I had nothing in my system and the placenta came out later, which made for nice clean water as far as I could tell.  From the bed, I held him for the first hour, skin to skin with a blanket on top.  Afterward, they did a little test on him, weighing him and things, and put him in a diaper and swaddle and checked me out.  I had a tiny tear, but nothing big and stitches optional, so I declined since I'm sure it will heal and it doesn't seem to hurt.  The next bit was Ocean's first nursing and then a visit from Dad and Koral, who came over on the way home from the grocery store when they heard the news.  I was so hungry but couldn't really eat hot soup nursing a baby and Dad had brought frozen yogurt - SCORE!  So I sat while someone held Ocean and I ate peanut butter and chocolate frozen yogurt with Koral eating every other bite happily on the bed with me.  After that, Koral cried when it was time for her to go and that was sad, but we planned to go home soon, too.  Senthil and the midwives, Amy and Linda, went to the living room of the midwifery house taking turns holding Ocean while I napped, changed clothes, etc.  After an hour more, it was getting dark and I felt refreshed enough to go home and see Dad and Koral and relocate to my own bed.

39 Weeks already! Waiting for Ocean to make his move!

4:06 a.m. - 

Week 39, Day 2.  It's been a great few weeks with Koral and playing with her, minus a strange 5 days with lots of pain when I had to rest it out during the 36th week.  My sister Sheila actually was able to visit during that time and it was a huge help - and she took these beautiful pictures of Koral and I at the Arboretum in town here.  It's been unseasonably cool this spring - sometimes too cold! - but I know I'm lucky since I usually feel warm.  My to-do list is pretty much done, and I'm just waiting for this baby boy to make his move.  It's a bit cruel at the end for the mother, because I know I need rest and sleep, but can't seem to manage more than 4 hours at a time.  I definitely nap with Koral in the day whenever possible!  But every night I'm up.

My birth plan/hope is that I go into labor soon - that Koral can stay with my dad here at the house (he's arriving tomorrow!  Yay!) and that she will be comfortable in the familiar setting even if I'm gone for a day (we've never been apart that long...).  I envision it happening like last time, laboring at home for a bit, then calling the midwife, Linda, when I know it's the real thing, and going to meet her at the birth center to labor for the last few hours in their bathtub/room.  Senthil can bring is computer to work or sleep while that is happening - it gets boring for the other person, hours long.  I'm considering bringing a book myself for in between contractions.  But the best is just if you can nap while it's going on until close to the end.  Then he will be real - I hope, if all goes well - and I'll be exhausted for like 3 years.  No, seriously, probably true.  Between Koral and him, I don't think my down time will be much for quite some time.  This here is a very busy phase of life.  It's a great one - so much joy and firsts and beauty in it - but soooooo much work.  Nursing again - Koral stopped in December and it's been wonderful.  Interrupted sleep again - waking up for every tiny noise, even imaginary ones.  Phantom cries every time I'm in the shower.  All that.  And any hope that they nap at the same time is a dim one.  So I know what I'm getting into.  But I'm excited and I never wanted just one child, really.  If I had only one, Koral is the best of the best.  She's my little wonderful peace of heaven.  I love her more than imaginable - I can't even describe it.  

Even lately when she loves to be chased and I scoop up her little 18 pound self and she holds onto my arm like a tiny baby monkey and giggles I just bubble with how lucky I am to know this little bit of wonderful.  She's so fun-loving and creative now - arranging items in the house in new ways, building strange and interesting towers with all kinds of items, sticking things in blobs of play dough and hoping I never move the sculpture so that the play dough gets dry but I don't even care because she's so proud of her work and so insulted if she catches me taking it down.  She's starting to speak more this week - new words are Woah-woah for Milo, "Three" for counting and hoping to be chased, and continues to day "eye" when pointing to someone's eye.  Her interest in books has naturally returned after a long hiatus - she now loves to point at each thing and have me say what it is on each page.  When I'm in the shower, she flips through her books now.  She's getting longer hair in lovely curls that are darling.  At the park she can easily climb the ladders and has finally developed a bit of fear for the slides - finally wanting to be caught at the bottom or hold my finger on the way down.  She really has no idea a baby is coming. However, I have told her "No touch" to the baby swing in the living room that used to be full of toys. She didn't like it, but has not touched it since both Senthil and I have said "no touch" about it.  She throws a little fit of frustration and then it's accepted.  

Anyway - love my girl - and here's to hoping this little boy decides to make an appearance soon!  I'm ready.  Let's do this.  

Also, the house is almost ready for us - moving at the end of may in four weeks!  Starting to look forward to that, too!  

Easter Already!

It's the End of March Already!  Time is flying in it's own way, and I'm now 35.5 weeks with Ocean due in one month!!  Since the last post, we have bought a van - new to us - that I adore.  It's so nice to have the space, to be able to walk from the front of the vehicle down the aisle to the middle, to the back without even getting out.  Room to change the baby in the third row or room for the stroller and groceries.  Love it.  No shame.

The other big news is the siding is being put on our new home - which will be done at the end of May, just in time for our apartment lease to end.  So, though it will be difficult timing with a brand new baby, just weeks after the arrival of Ocean, we will be moving and I am very excited to get settled there.  Can't wait for a one-level with more storage space, NO stairs while carrying these babies around, a YARD for us and later a fence to keep them in, and a bit more living space.  Senthil truly needs his own office/room, too.  I don't know how he is getting so much work done working from the corner of our cluttered bedroom, but he is.  Having a room just for him will be a whole new ball game of enjoying life more.  The BEST part is we can save all that rent money every month.  Goodness, I can't wait!  In addition, our new phone plan through Google, called Fi for google phones, is only $30/month, cutting our phone bill from our old AT&T in half!  I'm looking at all angles to minimize our monthly spending while not living to drearily and starting to put something away for retirement - which we have not done until this year.  Restaurant money is being changed into life insurance payments, rent into retirement, and many other little steps to hopefully help us in the future.

Koral is doing well going through new phases - now she won't eat anything new until I force it in her mouth while she spits and shakes her head - BUT, if I can get it in there, there is a pretty high chance she will like it, make a happy noise, and accept the rest of it.  Yesterday, potato soup.  Tonight, cheese and also asparagus.  Silly girl!  So far, still very few words but she has said repeatedly:

• Hi (unprompted to airplanes, prompted to a few people)
• Hat (Anything I balance on my head is a hat)
• Oops (This comes out sounding like "juice" without the J and is so cute - when she drops something)
• Uh-oh
• Hey-ee (This is her call to Daddy to come find her when she is hiding and wants to play tickle games - it's not a real word, but it's a special call)

I don't recall much else that has happened more than once unprompted.  She seems to know all the animals on her puzzle, all the food names, even colors, but doesn't say them yet at all.  Oh, she does "roar" sometimes when we play with the lion toys.  Everything else she cleverly gestures for until she is understood.  

Her hair is growing in very pretty curls in the back now - longer every week!  She's so pretty.  Today at a friend's house she learned the concept of playing catch with a ball for the first time with another child!!  It took a minute, as she thought he just wanted to take the ball, but then eventually got the concept of turns, and played toss for several minutes!  Tonight she played catch with Senthil, too, and it was adorable.  

Recent pics - 

Add caption

Making silly Easter crafts - with Ocean in belly.

Painting with toy eggs on Easter Eve

Eating the candy of each egg before continuing on...

Double the Trouble: Our crazy car day

Last weekend was generally going to be a nice weekend of fun.  On Saturday, Koral was invited to a Princess Jasmine themed birthday party and she had a nice time.  Senthil was starting a cold and opted to stay home - but Sunday, we had planned a day trip to Charlotte to visit my cousin, Sarah, and her little five year old daughter, Avery - and visit IKEA, as I had heard it was a cool store.  On the way, for the first time for either Senthil or I, our car broke down.  It started to not accelerate, so he pulled over to an exit ramp and on the side.  The hood started steaming/smoking.  Senthil really flipped out.  He ran to the back, grabbed Koral out of the car seat, and started RUNNING away from the car.  This was all really great instincts as he was sure the car was going to explode since he only watches action movies, except that she was hatless and in normal clothes with no shoes or coat on in 30 degree weather with wind on the side of a highway.  I got him to get her in the bassinet covered up with a hat before explaining that the car was okay to be near.  He was still very skeptical about toxic killer fumes and the safety of being inside the vehicle, but after a few minutes, he agreed to sit back down with the doors slightly open, which was very good wind cover.  In the mean time, I called my cousin who was able to pick us up - and Senthil eventually called State Farm for a tow.  Goodness, we had no idea what to do.  The towing was covered by our insurance.  

Soooo, we met my cousin, went out to lunch with her, and then she graciously offered to let us use her car to drive home and return it the following day (presumably picking up our fixed car then).  Trouble is, on the way home, HER car broke down.  I am not joking.  In 16 years of driving I had never experienced a break down, and then boom, two in one day.  This occurred the moment of the super bowl kick off.  I called our friend and neighbor, Tina - the dog-mom of Milo's playmate, Evie - and luckily she not only answered but came right away.  This time it was pitch dark out and the battery and alternator were out, so we had no light except our dying cell phones.  Again we moved the car seat and got a ride, whilst working out the towing details for Sarah's car with her!!  

Since then, this whole week has been car related.  Bottom line - our car is dead.  We are shopping for a new one.  Last night we drove Sarah's repaired car and our other car back to her, then returned home together.  It has been such a busy week.  

Koral and I went to a Mom Group party tonight for the interest group I started, which is all about holidays.  This one was the first event, and a Valentine's Party hosted by a friend.  Here's a few pics of my sweet cupid daughter today:

Time with Koral - Valentines

Add caption

A friend of mine told me last fall about how when her second child was born, her "heart split into two" and she felt the same love for both children.  I can say that when I was pregnant with Koral, she didn't become real and that enormous love didn't truly start until she was in my arms.  The same goes for Ocean.  I am THRILLED to have him coming, I am nesting and excited, but he's just not real yet until he gets here.  I do anticipate him taking lots of time and this will be a huge change for Koral.  So for right now, while I still feel pretty good and not too huge, we are spending lots of play time together.  This week, we're doing valentines and crafts while it rains, and walking outside when it's dry.  And thanks to Mom's Club, we also had a social Monday and Tuesday - but I'm planning on staying in today for the most part.  It's nice once in a while to just stay home.

Kitchen Overhaul

One of the new things in our house for the past 8 weeks was Senthil's decision to be on an Oil-Free, Plant Based, Whole Foods Diet.  In a nutshell, it means eating food in it's original, unprocessed form often and not eating foods with added oils or sugars.  It's a vegan diet with a healthier twist.

While this might sound daunting - we prepared for this by watching the Netflix movie "Forks Over Knives" - then we bought the book and both read it - then we thought about it for weeks in India - and came home to start.  He has done absolutely amazing with it.  So far, he has stopped having sleep apnea and stopped snoring completely.  He feels lighter and healthier without going hungry - he can eat as much of this kind of food as he wants.  The only extra restriction he placed on himself this week is to avoid peanut butter a bit as it was becoming an every night treat on toast with jelly, and he would not only like to feel good, but also start losing weight.

Koral and I still go out and have treats or eat pizza occasionally - and last night, we 3 went to eat at Moe's for a diet-friendly meal - BOGO free burrito and a free kids meal on Tuesdays made the entire enormous meal for all of us less than $8!  Senthil ordered a whole grain tortilla with brown rice, veggies, black beans, salsa, guacamole, corn, etc. for a healthy meal.  I ate the same thing but with chips, and Koral got a free cheese sandwich, apple juice and cookie.  But at home, this is a typical breakfast:

Fruit, Sugarless cereals, Almond Milk

Our bowls of cereal and Koral's tray

It's been a YEAR since my last post. Koral is 18 months!

I took quite a break from blogging, and also moved everything over from the old blog to this better interface on Blogger - so hopefully things will finally be in chronological order and dated from here on out!

Koral is now a beautiful 18 month old - in a nutshell, after the last post last year, I gradually became a full-time stay at home mom and have really loved caring for Koral.  Daycare became scary for us as I ended up finding Koral there crying in a pool of her own snot while the teachers ignored her, and that was the last day she attended.  After, we went to India for 3 months as Koral was 6 months to 9 months - we mainly stayed inside and played during this time due to heat, but would go on early morning or late evening stroller walks and made some local friends and had a good time.

Afterward, we returned home for the summer in the states at our townhouse rental -- but went to Iowa to have her 1st birthday party with my family, which was awesome.

Following, we enjoyed fall here at home whilst I joined a local Mom's Club group that has been awesome for friends, socialization, and support - we are able to get out nearly every day for an activity and play.  We attended lots of fall festivities and in general had a great time!

In November, we took another short trip to India but it was really an awful stay due to city flooding and power outages, bad food and constant humidity and rain.  We were happy to get home!  Then a quick week to Iowa for a snowy fun Christmas with my family, and back home!

Koral now loves climbing more than ever, and is very good with balance.  She doesn't say any words at all yet - stopped saying "Mama" after she learned to walk at 7-8 months.  However, she lets us know what she wants very very well.  Right now she's sitting at her little craft table coloring with markers - another favorite!

My big news other than my favorite girl in the world is that we are expecting a baby boy in 3 months - and so I have decided it's time to start logging our lives again other than Facebook posts.  This time around, I feel so much more capable.  I feel ready, know what to expect, and we are planning to have our baby, Ocean, at the midwife center in town.  It's really lovely and I have heard great reviews, so this time around, hopefully no hospital or belly band.  I'm sure I will write all about the experience when we get there.  Below are photos from our walk today.